Every NetSuite finance consultant I know has seen behaviors that walk the line between “resourceful” and “completely unhinged.” This isn’t advice — it’s a tongue-in-cheek record of the ten worst habits you should absolutely avoid. Unless you enjoy cleanup work, audits, and confused stakeholders.
1. Budgets Are Just Guidelines
If you blow through the budget, just reclassify it as “strategic morale investment.” That $1,800 espresso machine wasn’t over — it was transformative.
2. Treat the Company Card Like a Perk
Need a new TV? Just call it “remote collaboration hardware” and hope no one notices it’s installed at home.
3. Always Round Up — Big Numbers Feel Better
$25,457? Close enough to $30,000. After all, finance is about vibes, not math.
4. Audit Trails? What Audit Trails?
Turn off change logging and pretend everything just works. Future You will love the mystery.
5. Forget ROI — Pick the Tool With the Best Logo
Does it integrate? Is it stable? Who cares. If the website has a good color scheme, go for it.
6. Undo is a Strategy
Make edits in the live environment, delete something important, then hope for the best. (Bonus: blame SuiteAnswers if it fails.)
7. Use Obscure Jargon to Avoid Questions
Try this: “We adjusted for P&L volatility based on real-time index-linked marginality coefficients.” No one will ask again.
8. Plan for the Apocalypse, Not Retirement
Skip the 401k contribution — invest in bulk rice and underground storage instead. Priorities.
9. Blame NetSuite
If something breaks, just say “the script is acting up.” Even if there’s no script.
10. Deadlines Are Suggestions
Close periods when the mood strikes. Adjust reporting calendars accordingly. Blame leap years if pressed.
Epilogue: Laugh, Then Reconcile Your Accounts
These habits are fun to joke about because we’ve all worked with (or been) someone who almost did one of them. But finance, especially inside NetSuite, rewards quiet consistency — not chaos masked as creativity.
If this list made you smile and wince, that’s the point.
This satirical list is for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t do any of this in production. Especially not #2.